Team Spirit

"make a joyful noise to The Lord." (Psalm 101: 1, Psalm 98: 4)

Growing up, I was in choir, so I didn't mind singing. I wasn't great, but wasn't horrible. As an adult, I didn't sing unless I was in the shower or in the car alone. Or so I thought...

If you've never been to LCC, we have a full rock band & they play modern Christian music. There's people clapping, whistling, raising their hands, etc. The music is so loud that you can't hear the person next to you singing or even yourself. Even then, I wasn't singing, was mouthing the words, or was whispering the words with my hands in my pockets. My excuse not to physically worship or sing loudly was that everyone can worship differently & I was technically making a noise. It was just a quite noise. (Wimpy right?)

Earlier this fall, my friend invited me to an OSU game with him. If you've never been to "The Shoe", you clap when the band comes out, sing various fight songs, cheer for the Buckeyes, & make the letters O-H-I-O out with your arms. (See where I'm going with this yet?) Needless to say, I did all those things without a second thought on that Saturday.

The next morning during music worship, the Holy Spirit clearly spoke to me and said, "You will sing loudly, clap, & raise your hands for a football team, but not for the Lord?" From that second forward, I've raised my hands, sang loudly, & even worked up a sweat during music worship because I want to show The Lord how grateful I am that He made me one of His children!

I challenge you to worship outside of your comfort zone.  This isn't about being part of the group, doing what your neighbor does, or even what makes you feel good.  It's about showing Christ that you are thankful.
(Tip: Close your eyes)

Aunt Val

One year ago today, I had a conversation with my Aunt Val that would change my life, my family's lives, and generations to come.  I walked into OSU's Ross Heart Hospital, put on a surgical gown, and latex gloves.  I didn't believe that this would be the last time that I would see her in this world, but she knew.

Before I write about that conversation, let me go back.  I was the oldest grandchild in the Linn family.  Val married my dad's brother, Mark.  I can still vividly remember her chasing me around my grandparent's house, yard, and up their crab apple tree.  She was so beautiful.  I remember having a school boy crush on her as a child.

As for my Christian background, I think we started attending church when I was 6 or 7 years old.  We attended twice on Sundays, Wednesday nights, and were very active in the church (this doesn't make you a Christian).  I remember asking Jesus to be my savior when I was 9 or 10 years old (this does make you a Christian).  As a teenager, I started rebelling against going to church & stopped attending by the end of high school.  Truthfully, I was just selfish and wanted to live for myself and not God.  I also had zero knowledge of God's grace and thought it was hypocritical to be a Christian and then sin, but that's a blog for another day.  To wrap it up, I lived for my pleasure and by the world's rules all through my twenties.

Let's fast forward to August 2010.  I found out via Facebook that Aunt Val was diagnosed with leukemia.  I put via Facebook because our families had grown apart; even though, we all lived in Lancaster.  We would occasionally get together for the holidays or see each other at the store.  So, Stephanie, Mark and Val's oldest daughter, gave me her room information and told me to surprise her.  I was extremely nervous.  I had only been to the hospital for a broken finger, the flu, my children's births, and when Grandpa Linn passed away 10+ years ago.

I will never forget walking into that hospital room.  She was so surprised and happy to see me.  I literally think she hugged me for ten minutes (lol).  My intent was to cheer her up when I would go see her.  She would be in and out of The James a few times over her year long battle.  But every time I visited, I was the one who left feeling better.  She was always saying how proud she was of me, telling me funny family stories, etc.  She never lost her faith in God!  I was in awe of her.  She would counsel other patients, give advice to nurses, etc.  I could see God using her to touch all the lives around her including mine.

Over the next year, I would lose my Uncle Narvil and Grandpa Casey both on my mother's side of the family.  You start thinking about eternity when you are carrying the caskets of your loved ones.  I was still too stubborn/selfish to act though.  I would pray occasionally, but I never went further than that.

That brings us back to Wednesday, November 16, 2011.  I never had to wear gloves or a gown before.  I knew this was different than other times that I had came to see her.  As I visited with her, the doctor and his team came to confirm my Aunt's wishes.  She elected to have the ventilator removed the night before.  The doctor went on to explain how they would care for her as her earthly body would fail her until she would eventually pass away.  This was gut-wrenching for me personally; however, she kept telling the doctor, "I want to go home to be with the Lord.  I want to see Jesus!"  Selfishly, I wanted to keep her here with me, but I knew how much pain she'd been through in the past year.

The doctors left and I sat by her bed and held her hand.  Val reminisced about chasing me up that crab apple tree, she told us a couple more funny stories, and told me that God loves me, it would never be too late to repent, I needed to go back to church, and there's nothing He wouldn't forgive.  Less than 48 hours later, she did leave this world and got to home to see our Lord.  There's no doubt in my mind that those last days were a blessing from God and the Holy Spirit was speaking through her.

Those words weighed heavy on my heart for months until our friends invited us to their church, Grace Fellowship, in Pickerington.  It was amazing that one of the first sermons was about God's grace.  This was just what I needed to hear.  We've now found a local church, Lancaster Community Church, were baptized, and recently became members.  It's amazing the difference in my attitude, marriage, children, etc. with God in my life.  I know that He was able to use Aunt Val's cancer to change my life and the lives of others that she touched.